real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
