I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize