your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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