we have officially lost it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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