he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
