Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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