I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
