Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Vodka?
Forever.
He better not be in your backpack
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
