i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it was like eating out sand paper
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
