$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
