Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
