the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
