time to smoke my breakfast
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize