We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
