theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
