Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
