Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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