but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize