So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
