Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
