Jerry, you need to find god
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
