Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
