it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
