based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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