At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
