mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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