ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
