I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sobbing to NWA
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize