i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
