I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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