It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
