Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize