I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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