I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
