Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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