And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
