Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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