I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize