I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
