i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Randomize
