is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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