Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
