duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How does it feel to date your dad?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
