so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This is the high leading the old right now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
