Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize