Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
