Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
