I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
