we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Houston, we have a blender
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
