the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize