fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
