Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
