I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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