I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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