there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have fence marks all over my body
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
