I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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