And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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