She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
