i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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