Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
