hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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