This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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