Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
