I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
